Somebody I Used To Know – Midlife Crisis

Welcome Tuesday and Hello Readers,

My apologies for not getting a podcast out in the last week and a half. It’s been really busy lately and by the time the weekend comes it’s hard to get up and do my fun activities. Since it is going to be a three day weekend I am hoping to get another podcast up.

Anyway, this past weekend was busy. IT came to visit the website. IT was on and off again for over four hours. Nice to see that IT reads my opinions on things. But anyway, today we are not going to talk about IT. I figure talking about IT just gives IT what it wants so I am resolved not to mention IT anymore. The children will discover the truth when they are older it is just a matter of sitting and waiting.

So today I am planning on discussing women who go through their midlife crisis. There are six stages to a women’s midlife crisis. On average women experience their midlife crisis between the years of 35 and 44 unlike men who typically experience it between 44 and 50.

Stage One: Emotional Collapse

The first stage is the emotional collapse. This is when two dramatic issues in a women’s life occurs around roughly the same time that would cause an emotional collapse. Examples could include a child enduring an extended illness and then she also loses her job.  Or her house catches on file and her husband files for divorce. These two incidents can lead a women into the first cycle of the midlife crisis for a women: the emotional collapse.

Stage Two: Enlarging the Gap

In stage two, women seek to engage in expanding the gap that removes themselves from the object that has their attention and has become focus of their crisis. Often times this can be her husband or partner. Judgements, comparisons, and an over exaggeration of both her victimhood and the objects cruelty can lead to a preparation for removing themselves from the object that is cruel and oppresses them.

Stage Three: I Want My Freedom

In this stage, women will flee. They will move out from your marriage or many times kick you out. If the focus of her attention is on her job, she will put in her two week notice at this point to free herself from the tyranny of the job but will often not have a job to replace it. She will begin to develop exaggerated ideas of what a monster you have become and generate a fear in herself that will force her to stay away from you.  At this point, the fear is so great marriage counseling is no longer an option. If you have already filed for divorce this point comes about day 30 when she develops a strong confidence about herself and moves either her stuff out or leaves your stuff out on the lawn.

Stage Four: You Owe Me

The dreaded words no man ever wants to hear. I stayed with you, I bore your children, and now you owe me. She demands either in person or from an attorney that you pay for everything of hers.  That you take her debt, you provide her money to support her during this transition. Women can even go so far to demand that you pay for the moving of her household items clear across town. The reason though she believes you owe her all this is because you emotionally hurt her. **rolling eyes** Apparently, when women go through the midlife crisis, it’s about feelings. Yet in a court of law, feelings do not matter just if a violation of the law, contract, or another document has been committed. In this stage the focus is always about money and getting more out of it from you.

Stage Five: I’m Happier Now

Here is where the women will begin to slowly return back to their former selves. The will often brag about it on social media or if you have children to your children. It has to do with something new that she gained without you. A new husband, a new job, a new place or anything else that she considers new that makes herself feel good and what she feels proves to you that she is moving past you. If you are not the focus of this and instead it is her leaving her former job then in stage four she demands from the job a reference and money possibly even time off. In stage five it turns to her bragging about her new job to former coworkers explaining every reason why the job is so much better than where they are still working. For the women in crisis, this is the point where she is trying to convince others that the lie she has told herself works. This stage can be the longest it is all about determination and continuing to convince others of the lie.

Stage Six: Somebody I Used To Know

This is the final stage, women will make one of two choices here. She will have that “OH SHIT” moment that the decisions, lies, and come crashing down and hit her like a ton of brinks. She realizes that the scared child who could not face the emotional collapse at stage one is left with a destructed life, broken children, and possibly a fractured career. She wakes up to realize that the “new husband/boyfriend” is not the catch he was. And she will try to “sling back” trying to tape together the fractured pieces of her life. If not this she moves on putting you into a distant memory and thought. She has no remorse for her pain because all of this was from the messed up childhood she had and the lack of a real father figure to guide her. In her mind you were the cause of all of this and there is nothing you can do but try to move on.

A women’s crisis like a man can leave a family fractured forever. With the easiness of life, it takes less and less for a male or female to reach a “Fuck IT” moment and leave it all. Social media also encourages it in a lot of ways. If there is a way to stop it from coming the best stage to prevent is to seek marriage counseling in stage one prior to her loosing hope and developing the gap away from you. Because when she gets to that point, the odds of coming back are slim to none.

M

Sources

xander2

Advertisements