Well we can now hope the crazy madness on the roads will come to an end considering Spring Break is now over. Between almost getting T-Boned by a bus on Friday and then being T-Boned from another car while making a turn under the highway bridge. I am glad that Spring Break is finally over. I got asked by a friend this weekend was it difficult to sign the rights away to my step-children. Part of me wanted to answer yes and then part of me wanted to answer no. IT was being unreasonable and was using the children as weapons. The children were lying non-stop to us. So in all honestly we did the best thing we could for them and let them have each other. IT taught them how to lie so let her deal with them. According to IT they didn’t want to be with us and wailed non-stop. OK. Well if that’s the case you can have the children and we will keep the $7,200 a year. You can have the two money drains. So now looking back it’s a twofold blessing and curse. We get to have more money to take vacations and enjoy ourselves with. We are not forced to have to be somewhere all the time or ensuring the children have taken their meds or go to doctor’s appointments. In a lot of ways it’s been a positive thing not having the children here because we get to independent and live life according to our terms.
There are times I replay conversations I had with Tori and Xander and realize they were just lying to me. They didn’t enjoy anything we did with them. They just wanted to stay at the house and frozen behind a stupid video game system. So the blessing is finally here that I am going to get to sell a lot of that stuff and get the money I dumped into that crap back. Ben is going to go through some of it but whatever I get the ok for I am going to sell it. It’s just taking up room and I feel like we were the victim of a scam. Between what the kids told the psych and everyone else apparently they never wanted me marrying their father although he asked them if it was ok. I have just come to the resolution that I am not going to deal with this crap anymore. This is the way they wanted it. Us out of their lives. So they have it. I not going to be answering the door if someone comes begging for help or assistance any more. As we used to say when I was a kid, “Talk to the hand, because the face don’t give a damn.”
The kids should have just been honest with us. We would have given up our rights probably a lot sooner if they had just told us. Yet someone wanted to see how much they could get out of the deal. Well, all I have to ask now, how is that working out for you? Part of me hopes they all freaking move to Florida. That they would just leave and go be somewhere else so I could be at peace going to my standard places without the fear of knowing if they were there or not. It is like having that dark cloud that never leaves you alone. It’s always there even on the sunny days. If they moved, the dark cloud would go with them. Yet I know that is too much to hope for. Unfortunately we are stuck living in the same city and they will probably never move.
So to answer my friends question, some days it was easy and other days not so much. I live in battle and rage at the kids, IT, and Ben family. No one seems to give a shit so I am going to quit giving a shit about them as well. It is in the rages I go through and throw stuff away that I been given permission too. I met a lot of crappy people in my life. Between the Methodist churches when I was little, the Anglican Church I used to call my home, and the places I have worked. I been lied to, beaten, and bullied. Yet I could see through and learn to read their lies but it was the lies of a 7 and 13 year old that I couldn’t see until now. How they used me for their pleasure. No more will I be a sucker to any of them. For I am done. Done with them all.