Dear Tori and Xander,
Well this blog brings me to 101. I wanted to say thank you for enduring not being able to see your father and I. We understand it is both difficult and rough on the two of you. Nothing much to tell really about what is going on. I been busy with my CPE courses. I have decided to put a raised garden up next to the house. I really do not think the peach tree or the other flowers survived this past winter so I am going to start over with a raised bed. Your dad is going to help. For him and I gardening is very therapeutic and relaxing. It also gets us outside and spend time with each other.
I am going to try to grow my own cucumbers so I can make my dill pickles again. I know you really enjoyed them Xander. I am also going to be planting some pretty flowers to remind me of you Tori. I have to admit I am not a very good gardener. My family has had some master gardeners in their day but for me I just lack the green thumb. That is why I have your dad. He said he was going to help me. Last night I was shocked to see your dad eating a salad. I was really proud of him. He and I have been dropping a lot of weight which ensures are health; considering I will be having major surgery in October.
I often wonder how I would react if I saw the two of you somewhere. In all honesty I probably could not handle seeing the two of you. I would bolt out of the store instead of sticking around. In a lot of ways I would just rather keep marching on than going backwards again. It is taken me so long to get to this point that going backwards just seems something that I would not be able to handle. In the beginning of your Dad’s and I relationship, I did not want to be involved with the two of you. I was not wanting someone with children. I really was just looking for a causal relationship. But your dad called me one day in a panic. His car had broken down and he needed me to pick him up and then pick the two of you up. Well the rest we can say is history.
I think the one thing that impressed me the most about you too was how much you were like me. Xander your love of school and your quick ability to do your homework. I do not know what happened but once the divorce was finalized your motivation and drive to do well seemed to go with it. Tori you loved life and we always had so much fun. Even when we used to joke and tease your Dad by saying “Guess what?” And our response…..CHICKEN BUTT!!! LOL. Yeah those days were fun. I miss the both of you a lot. In a way it was your dad’s situation with his car that brought you into my life. God has a funny way of doing things. It is just a shame he always has to take away everyone I love. L
Have a wonderful weekend. The weather is supposed to be great.