So what is it like being the Alienated Stepparent? It is not easy. You get up you go to work and continue to wonder if my step-children will ever come back and get our side of the story. I get frustrated in my house seeing the children’s things and me not having enough will power to go through and dump most of it. I want to start a garden in the front of the house but the last time anything pretty grew in there was when the kids were there. I keep hoping Tori’s flower will grow back but I know the odds are it will not. So I keep delaying the garden clinking to the hope something will grow and remind me of my stepchildren but I know it will not.
Their rooms haven’t been touched since they left. I am filled with rage when I have to enter into the rooms so I avoid them like the plague. Yet I get up every morning and go to work and make small talk with other moms who are so excited about the activities their children are in. They talk about their play dates, the movies, and the latest issue with the PTA. So I stick on my fake happy and look like I care. To be honest though I just want to leave and hide. I never realized how smug parents sound when you do not have your own stepchildren to talk about. Most mom’s are inconsiderate of those having to hear their conversation. They brag and boast about themselves and their children and I want to do is go “Who Cares!!!!” no one gives a s*** about you living out you fantasies through your children.
To be honest this is the first time in month’s no one has mentioned you or talked about the family you live with now. To be nice it’s nice not to hear anything more about your new family. I quit looking at all the Facebook posts of mom’s and dad’s who have lost their children. I have stopped reading all the step-mom posts who are distraught their SD or SS had a fight with them. UGHHH I just want to scream be happy you have someone to fight with. I had hopes this blog would generate some interest or other stepmoms who had been alienated and had their families ripped apart from the family court. But I realize that no one wants to talk about it. No one cares except for me. I have days where I want to quit because who really cares anyway. Nothing is ever going to change. Then I see this and I die a little inside because I know by the time she would ever see me wear it she won’t even care.
So I sit and put on my happy face not really caring anymore but just going through the motions. The war is hard and I am told I have to have faith but in all honesty I do not know if faith really does anything but puts us in a fantasy state. Wishing for bad things to happen is unchristian so I just ask for forgiveness for the bad thoughts and continue to march even if it until my death because what I know we did was right and there has to be a reason God would do this to my step-children because things just do not happen but have a meaning and reason. Yet I still miss their smiling faces and will often cry myself to sleep wishing I could just hug them one more time. Yet all I can do is thank God for putting me through this because anyone having to endure this must have a great reward in the end.