Bariatric Surgery and Divorce is a dangerous relationship. The rate of divorce after bariatric surgery may be as high as 75-85% in the first two years after surgery. If the bariatric patient was obese prior to the relationship, then the risk of divorce is even higher. The question is why? Why is the divorce for these individuals so much higher? With dramatic weightless comes confidence and sexual attention from the opposite sex, also those who have this surgery often find with their confidence a drive to be more social than they were before. I have heard from many spouses that say that after this surgery that their partner changed psychologically along with their personality. The issue come to find out that those that had negative self-body issues maintained those issue post-surgery. The concept of the Circle of Discontent focuses on negative body images, depression, patterns of consumption and weight loss. In many forum boards you can find family support searching for answers to why their family members have turn to other comforts such as alcohol in place of food. In another study they found that while looking for depression and anxiety prior to surgery that after the surgery those with these disorders often lost less than those who did not have these disorders.
Gastric bypass is a tool and if you use the tool incorrectly then the desired results of the gastric bypass with not happen. Statistics have found that weight loss failure within 24 months of surgery is at 11.2%. The reason for these failures is due to a lack of compliance with diet. I find this interesting because if the risk of divorce is between 75% and 85% within the first two years and at this point 11.2% of gastric bypass failures are due to a lack of compliance with diet could it be said that the stress of divorce is the cause for the failure to maintain the weight loss. I would not be wrong in assuming this. 80% of all those who engage in gastric bypass procedures are female. In 2000 68.9% of women initiated divorce proceedings against their husbands. So it would be reasonable to say that women who choose to engage in dramatic weight loss and initiate divorce stand a higher change of failing at their diets and becoming overweight again.
To me that just seems like a huge waste of time and energy. While I can understand the positive attributes of gastric bypass in extreme situations, to me I believe that you can obtain the same weight loss achievement over a period of time by changing your habits and making the effort to engage in lifestyle changes. When we fall of the wagon its ok and there is less physiological impacts unlike when you are given the tool that surgery provides. In a culture so consumed with immediate gratification we fail our bodies with doing things like losing weight which is about a mental and lifestyle change not a quick fix.
Quick fixes have consequences for the men who have partners that go through this surgery. In the end if the ex-spouse ever remarries prior to the failure of the gastric bypass take comfort in knowing that the odds of that marriage failing within three years is pretty high considering the weight gain and the statistics of divorce of a second marriage. Weight gain can be the sign of a troubled relationship according to Brette Sember an attorney and author. At the beginning of marriage women who are over the age of 30 are more likely to gain weight which can lead to a gastric bypass failing due to a response by women to not be so restrictive in their diet due to finding a permanent mate.
So husbands love your wives for who they are not for who they want to be. Love them enough to go with them to the gym and get healthy together. Wives consider with prayer the choice you are making when you decide to get a gastric bypass because it can and often end the life and your marriage as you know it. I would recommend pastoral counseling prior to such a big decision and continued pastoral counseling for both you and your husband because of the damage this surgery can have on your loved one and you.