Five Little Ducks

Good Morning Tori and Xander,

I hope this letter finds you well. Did you have a good day back from vacation at school?  Did you have a good Thanksgiving? I found pictures of our last thanksgiving together. It made me smile. I also found a song that made me think of the two of you and how our situation is right now. With all the statistics and information I read about children who have gone what you have gone through it makes me pray harder that you can defy those statistics no matter how horrible they are. While I know the odds are stacked against you my hope is that you will find counseling and therapy with everything that you have experienced.

I have found your dad’s family to be really interesting people when I step back and think about it. How they can lie to anyone about anything and fake about caring. The deeper question I have is why anyone cares about your Dad. No one cared about your dad during the last three years except me. I am the one that stuck with him through all of this. Yet now they want something from him. If no one could be with him in the hardest battle of his life then they sure do not deserve to be with him when he has found peace. Your dad is an amazing man who has been through the worst things possible. His family turns on him and his friends. Yet we stood together and weathered the storm.

Your Grandmother had the audacity once during the divorce to send us a letter and talk about how we should honor her because it was a commandment. Well the thing is, she is taking a Calvinist view of honor. Like honor, Calvinist think it is cheap like grace. She neglected to see that honor means the following in Hebrew: to be heavy, weighty or burdensome. It can also be respected. Therefore, when we talk about it being heavy and weighty, we have done just that. We have lifted the heaviness of their sins and transgressions. We acknowledge their part in battle we faced.  We even do not speak evil about them because we respect that they are elders. However, we do not agree nor do we forget their parts in our battle. We in summary forgive but we do not forget because we are called to כָּבַד them only.

Together your father and I continue to move forward, to sell our house, move, and live our lives out in peace and happiness that we have found. In 3956 days if you choose to want to return into our lives and live in peace we will gladly accept you with open arms with some adopted brothers and sisters to join in our meals.  I attached a song that made me think of the two of you today and below are some pictures that remind me of the two of you. I continue to pray for you. We miss you both and I promise we will never forget the two of you.

Hugs and Kisses,




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