Good Morning Grieving Step-Parents and Parents,
I am starting to realize that there is more pain in the day after a holiday than the actual holiday itself. The day after the holiday it is hard going to social media and watch family photos celebrating thanksgiving. This year we made lots of progress getting our house back together. I have the bruises to prove it. In midst of cooking our two separate meals I got a half inch cut down my finger from a knife. It will be fine. Just another battle scar to be honest.
Today is now the biggest holiday shopping day of the year. Ben and I have decided not to participate in that chaos. With no family interaction yesterday, Ben and I have decided that we are just going to continue cleaning. I think it is just part of our grieving process. We really are not ready to interact with large masses out in public. We focus a lot of our free time with just cleaning and repairing things. Almost like we cannot fix the fact that we will not see our kids for 3,960 days but we can fix other things.
I am grateful we are making steps to fixing things around the house. It was nice to see Ben working on going through boxes of things like FIOAs, pictures, parts and documents. We ended the day with two complete trash bags full of stuff to throw away. I think what has helped me continue forward and moving forward is being able to write to my kids with no restrictions. For many moms, whether stepmoms or not, writing is a manner of how we process and heal ourselves during our grief. I write my blog because I feel an overwhelming need for justice and to make things right. The family court screwed me out of being a stepmom. They screwed my husband out of being a dad. All I have wanted was my step children to know the truth of what happened, how we continued to fight, why we decided to sign our rights away, and I want them to know that their dad and I love them more than anything.
Yet it has become more than that. It has become a ministry for those who have no voice. Who live in the life of being a stepmom and alienated parent. In many ways, we are like Joseph. We have been banished from our family. However, while we are separated we, like Joseph, we must make the best of our situation and put ourselves in the situation to help our family when we are reunited. Joseph could help his brothers and father when they came in need of food to him. We must remember that we must be able to help our families when we are reunited with them. God is faithful and provides us with the story of Joseph to give us hope.
If your reading this, then you made it through to another day. Remain strong because there is a purpose and this is part of God’s divine plan.