Will You Help Me?

Good Morning Grieving Parents and StepMoms,

I know the holidays can be tough. You have become the outcast to your current family and in a lot of ways you do not even want to celebrate with yourself. Welcome to year two of not being invited anywhere or having anyone to talk too. Last year with the shock of still not having children I think it was just trying to get through.  This year though it is getting easier.  We are going to work on getting the children’s rooms cleared out so we can begin using them as offices.  In some ways I dread doing that but in others once it is complete it will be a relief.

We can start functional in our complete house.  Although we plan to sell it here in the next two years we still have to be able to have offices for each one of us. I know that once I get my office set up I am going to working on producing a podcasts to accompany my blogs. In a lot of ways, this has become more than just me writing thoughts and talking to my stepchildren but it has become a ministry for me. It has become the motivation of why I get out of bed each morning. I think like most Christians I force myself to ask the question why does God allow this? Why would he want or even allow for the hurt that we suffer with daily to occur.

To be honest, any answer I give would be mute because it will in no way help everyone but can only help me to be honest. I have often started my prayer journal with a question to God. Like Why Me or How Could You. I think that is why it seems like an endless struggle just to get this far at where I am at now. There is no book that fits with what I have experienced. Who knows at some point I might be able to take my blog and make it into a book to be read. If you read this and you know a stepmom who is struggling with a HCBM or you know a father who has lost his children please send them the link to the website. Often these individuals suffer in silence because they do not want to be a burden but they suffer. Why not help them?

The question is why not? I was brought up in a semi-feminist household. I was raised by baby boomers. I have been told the feminist movement would support the injustices done to me. Yet it falls on deaf ears. There is no support groups for Step-Moms who have lost their step children. Yet my fellow sisters are often silent. Why? Because it means they would have to support me which means supporting my husband. Now day’s feminism is not about equality but gynocentrism. Meaning the thought of supporting a straight male would be against their ideas.  Therefore they will never support me or help me through the grief cycle of losing my stepchildren.

The church is even silent. Unfortunately in many ways gynocentrism has entered into the old patriarchal church. I honestly believe that the church has lost its fear of God. They hide with the loving and perceived effeminate nature of Jesus. The fact of the matter is that Jesus was tough. He was an alpha male. While he showed compassion he was not above anger and taking a position on things despite its unpopular thoughts. He was the rebel of his time. In all honesty, I believe Christ would be really disappointed in the feminine nature of the church now.

So what can I do? This is why I blog and soon do podcasts. Because for the question on my prayer journal that I asked Why Me? This is God’s response because I need you to share your story with others in pain. They sit in silence. Show them the light I can bring into their world. Show them their pain is not without a greater purpose in the end. Will you help me? Will you share?

Thank you,




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