Little Peanut

Today is just one of those days. I hate Facebook watching people complain about HCBP but still seeing their step kids.  I often just want scream at the phone and say hey at least you get to see your kids. Then I cry for the parents who have to go to court again and again with a HCBP just because of the narcissistic nature the HCBP has instead of it being about the best interest of the child. It is not even 730 and I already want to go back to bed. When I feel like this I remember a story Ben told me about why he called Tori his little peanut.  When Tori was well the size of peanut he knew she was a girl. In his heart he knew. The first time he ever saw her on a sonogram she was the size of a peanut and he loved her. For some reason that story makes me capable of concurring the day because although my stepdaughter she is my only daughter.

It will be 11 more years before we can be a complete family again but I have no doubt my children will come and seek me and their dad out. It is just about being patient. The bible teaches us a lot about being patient. In Romans 8:25 we are told that if we have hope for that we do not see then we will have the patience to wait for it. For the many parents and stepparents who have to wait to see their children when they are 18, patience is hard.  But I pray that you find strength and have hope for that family you and spouse desire. Sometimes we have to view the loss of our children as losing a battle in a longer war. Losing my children was the hardest thing my husband and I ever had to do but we knew letting go for their peace and childhood would allow us in the end being the better parents and be prepared for them when they become adults and need us. Because as many stepparents and parents who have walked this road prior to us have said at some point your children always come back because they need you more than you will ever really need them.

But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. –James 1:4

Let us have patience my family of grieving parents and stepparents because while we want for our families to be whole right now patience will give us the perfect and entire family we desire leaving us filled with a love and joy greater than we will ever know.

May the Lord bless you today and always.



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