Good Morning Grieving Parents and Step Parents,
If you have fallen onto this blog then you have already lost your children or you’re the spouse of someone who has lost their children which means you have lost your children as well. Today I going to start a small series on High Conflict Birth Parents (HCBP) and hypergamy. In this blog I will be defining hypergamy and how to help your spouse recover from its devastation. First let us define a high conflict birth parent. A HCPB often will have a high conflict personality also known as a narcissist. A narcissist is someone who has extreme behaviors when dealing with individuals or children. They often will have no empathy unless it focuses the attention on themselves or improving their social status. They have no remorse for their actions or the impact it has on others. They have feelings of entitlement. An entitlement to read a decree the way they want, an entitlement to control the phone of a child, and even control a child’s after school activities. Some HCBP that are narcissist are deceptive because it is about the social status and the perception of themselves on others. As stepparents we must be careful of the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde persona when they are nice to you but are ruthless with your spouse or the other way around.
Narcissist are emotional dependent. This is how they survive and breathe. They pull others in to support them in their deceptive entitled beliefs. They will have family turn on you and use their own children as weapons. The sad thing is that it is not that they love their children but instead it is just another accessory item to use to gain attention. You know the children are just items for declaring entitlement when you are having to show pictures of the abuse your children have suffered to the psychiatrist who is planning to testify against you. For the HCBP it is about control. To control every aspect of their life. So what leads too these individuals to become like this? When they lose control. When they want to remove the person in their life they can no longer control and who does their bidding. I know most of you desire the day when your children will finally be able to break free. And while we desire that day, we know that it will be painful for our children, because they will finally make the decision to walk away from the HCBP because of their tight grip of control on all things. They will experience the rage that your spouse and you experienced during their divorce. This is why we pray for our children.
HCBP do not stop even after they have won everything. They continue to monitor your Facebook and blog. So how do you stop this? You remove them from your life. Any hopes and dreams of a peaceful resolution are gone. You block them from Facebook and you continue to live. While you know they will continue to watch your YouTube videos and read your blog you continue to ignore their calls for attention. This is the most Christian thing to do. These individuals are deeply troubled and even possessed by evil demons. So we pray for their souls to be saved and ignore them. Jesus ignored the Canaanite women until she showed her faith to him. (Matthew 15) We should show the same grace by ignoring until we are shown faith.
Tomorrow I will continue with discussing hypergamy. Then as our final part of this series how the two interrelate to each other like the metamorphosis of a maggot.
Till then I pray you find strength and blessings from God our Father.
Pictures are of me and my husband. We have lived through a HCBP and now are dedicating our lives to supporting others who experience the trials that come with a HCBP. Because no one should ever have to fight this alone. You will survive and your children will come back.