Divorce and Hierarchy of Needs

Good Morning Everyone.

May the Lord bless you today in this misty weather we are having here. Today we have to look at the statistics and begin to pray for our children. For the family and most importantly each other.

The physiological needs for any human being comes down to air, food, water, shelter, clothing and sleep. These are the needs just to survive. My children displayed these needs at times but mostly they were trying to gain the system with having their parents divorced. The sad part is not that divorce is hard enough on our children but of the 50% that have seen a divorce of their parents they are almost half as likely to see the second breakup of their primary parent’s second marriage.  Of the 90% of divorced mothers having custody of their children after a divorce more than half of them will end up below the poverty line resulting in them not being able to meet the physiological needs of their children.

The next step in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs comes an individual’s safety and security. This encompasses health, employment, property, family and stability. Wow following a divorce children are 50% more likely to experience and develop health problems than residing with both of their parents. Not only this, they have more psychological issues than actually suffering the death of a parent. The third step in Maslow’s Hierarchy is Love and Belongingness needs focusing in on friendship, family, intimacy, and connections. When the ex-wife remarries and brings in a stepfather to replace the children’s birth father their children are more likely to get expelled from school, engaging in delinquent behavior, not doing their own homework, and having a lower grade point average. This then leads as adults to having a vulnerability to drugs and alcohol as an adolescent, lower paying jobs and less college than their parents.

Why is this you may ask?  Because 43% of children in the US are being raised without their fathers. In roughly two-thirds of married or cohabiting couples, men earn more than women. Yet we have taken this away from our children. Hence the reduction in satisfying of physiological needs and even the safety and security needs of our children. If we take away the father’s income the mother is forced to work longer and harder hours to support her children. This then reduces the amount of time she can dedicate to the children. Thus making the mother just as incapable as raising the children providing them an attentive parent dedicated to their needs as the judge believes the father is during the divorce.

As stepparents the damage done to our children is already done.  Not through our choices but through our spouses. However, we must remember we must be rooted in our beliefs and being so we can help our children develop roots and not being living in their leaves. Living in our leaves causes them to be easily swayed or influenced by outside influences. As Christians we must be solid and stable and not influenced by the world outside. Our children depend on us for meeting their physiological and safety needs.

Therefore stepmoms let us remember to establish the roots of our family by remembering…

Ephesians 5:20-28

Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

May the Lord bless you and your family whether with you or apart because it is the Lord that created your family and it is only him that can take it away.

M

Here are two photos that summarize the facts above on how divorce impacts our children. Prior to divorce

family

 After divorce

xander

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