Grief Will Always Be Part Of Your Life

To Fellow Stepparents,

Like many of you who have read my blog, you see the pain and joy of having children who have been taken away.  You see the battle to keep yourselves strong enough to go about your daily life and then continue on by supporting your significant other. Your grief will always be with you it will be our cross to bear every day as we make our way to the cross. We must remind ourselves that although we are called to carry this cross we are not alone nor are we expected to be superheroes.  We all eventually fall to our kryptonite.  Mine was, like the many of you, the children. The moment they began becoming weapons being used to tear our family apart was the time I realized we needed to finally make the decision that no one wanted to make. We needed to leave to allow them peace. Everyone has their kryptonite. No one is ever a superhero.  The question becomes who do you have there to help pick you up off your knees when you fall? If you surround yourself with people who will not take two minutes to pick you up off your knees then how are they a reflection of Christ? We must surround us with those who live out the daily actions of Christ just as we are called to be the light of the world and bear his mark for everyone to see.

Grief will always be part of your life. How we react to grief is how we are judged. Everyone’s grief is different. Hence when we sit with a friend who is on their knees what we say to them is not going to be what we say to another friend.  Sometimes it is not the words but the actions that we are called to share. A hug, holding someone’s hand, or even just sharing the same space. When we grieve we rarely let people in. As stepparents we must share our pain because if we do not then no one knows that we hurt as parents. No one understands we fight on two battle fronts. God understands which is why he gave us his son, Jesus Christ. He is there in the valleys of grief and the in joy of sunshine. The Lord always provides.  The pain we endure is for his glory. It is our preparation to engage Satan and prepare others for the battle that is at hand.

Every morning I wake up realizing I have to live another day without my children. Another day I cannot protect them from the world that is out there. However, I realize that the only protection I can provide is through prayer. Prayer is a powerful weapon that we as Christians have that the Lord has given us to use. It truly is our sword for battle. The two prayers I pray daily follows. I found them in the 1928 Book of Common Prayer and they spoke to my soul. I added the For a Safe Return from a Journey because while my children still live they are one a life journey and I realize that at some point they will return and I give thanks for that.

For Our Children

O LORD, Jesus Christ, who dost embrace children with the arms of thy mercy, and dost make them living members of thy Church; Give them grace, we pray thee, to stand fast in thy faith, to obey thy word, and to abide in thy love; that being made strong by thy Holy Spirit they may resist temptation and overcome evil; and may rejoice in the life that now is, and dwell with thee in the life that is to come; through thy merits, O merciful Saviour, who with the Father and the Holy Ghost livest and reignest one God, world without end. Amen.

For A Safe Return From A Journey

MOST gracious Lord, whose mercy is over all thy works; We praise thy holy Name that thou hast been pleased to conduct in safety, through the perils of the great deep, [his way,] this thy servant, who now desireth to return his thanks unto thee in thy holy Church. May he be duly sensible of thy merciful providence towards him, and ever express his thankfulness by a holy trust in thee, and obedience to thy laws; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Keep steadfast stepparents who battle for our battles are not in vain but part of the will of God. May you find today a sense of peace and make progress by taking another step forward in your journey.

God’s blessings eternal,



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