Thank You For Enduring This.

Good Morning Tori,

How has your week been?  Are you looking forward to the weekend? Have you been keeping your brother out of trouble? Yesterday while at the health fair for work I talked to a lady who really liked my lanyard of My Little Ponies.  She asked me who my favorite pony was and how she really enjoyed seeing the movie with her daughter. I talked about how you and Bubby liked My Little Ponies. It was upsetting I could not share with her about seeing the movie with you.

I finish school this semester finally.  I will now how my third master’s degree and be all but dissertation for a PhD. I think about you and how smart you are and I miss talking to you. I realize you and your brother will probably never read anything I write but I wanted to let you know God had a reason for putting me through all this. Losing the two of you and then six months later losing our church. There is a divine purpose at work. I have searched for podcasts and websites to find a community like myself. I have not found one. I know I cannot be alone statistically. In the Texas Family Code chapter 161 a parent can file a petition to terminate their rights. The most significant result of terminating a parent’s rights is that the parent no longer has rights to access their children through possession or visitation periods and the parent’s support obligation is terminated. This is not an easy decision for your dad or me. However we knew your mother would support our decision and she did.

So this leads me to my calling. I have been called to help and support those stepparents who have made the toughest decisions of their life, releasing their parental rights to their children. I am working on setting up a podcasts for this audience and continuing with this blog. There has to be a voice for the thousands of stepparents who have to not only grief for their loss of their stepchildren but support their spouses in the loss of their children. The Holy Spirit is leading me in that direction. I am planning on my intro to the podcast to being your favorite song you and I used to sing together in the car. Do you remember singing that?

Do you remember the conversations we used to have while your dad and Bubby were looking at trucks?  How you would sit and talk to me about your feelings about not being able to see daddy all the time.  How you loved your mom but missed your dad. How you did not like your stepdad. How you were hurt your mom lied to you.  How you did not feel safe and got scared a lot at the other house. I pray you have found peace and safety. I pray you are looking out after your brother. Your dad misses you a lot. He feels like time has been stolen from him but knows at least you are not being used as a weapon which is the most important thing to him. Thank you for enduring this. I know it is not easy. Maybe when you are older you will be able to find me online sharing stories and ministering to other parents like me who are going through these trials for God’s divine plan.

I love and miss talking to you.

M

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