I Found A Movie Of You

Happy Tuesday!!!

The weather is chilly outside this morning so remember to wear a sweater or light jacket. As I sit in my office I am listening to Pandora to the music we used to listen to at Koinonia. Tori I know how you loved going and seeing your godmothers. Xander I know you really enjoyed singing along and getting to spend time with your dad. It devastated your godparents when we had to sign our rights away.  They understood but where devastated. It was the hardest thing having to let them know they would never get to see you guys again. It broke my heart. They loved the both of you as much as your dad and I love you. We were great support mechanisms for one another.

Xander I know you wanted to join choir. I wanted to let you know I joined choir at church because it reminds me of you.  They have told me I am a baritone but I am not sure if I am really that. Either way it does not really matter. Tori you dad bought me a turtle bracelet that you would love. It has green turtles on it.   He got it for me soon after we wouldn’t be seeing you anymore because he knew it would make me feel better.  Dad and I are planning a couple of things on Sunday to celebrate the time we had with you and to celebrate the peace and calm you now have.

I have a plan for one of the places we are going to go because the both of you loved going there. I will be taking Calvin, Hobbes, and Barney there so we can take pictures. Your dad and I miss you.  To be honest he handles it a lot better than me. As Thursday approaches closer it’s the final stabbing event for a while. Part of me which I could just skip it but then that would be an injustice to the decisions we made for you so you can lead a normal life.  To be honest, I know your dad and I had talked about signing our rights away for a while.  We had prayed about it. Yet when he came home on that day and told me it was a relief but also an incredible emptiness and pain took over the house.  It was that day my heart broke in two. We still have your pictures hanging all over the house. I still have your purple boots Tori that you loved. You were always so put together and loved getting all dressed up to go out.  I also have your purse hanging on the door handle in your room.

I just wanted to say hi this morning.  I hope you are learning a lot at school and doing well in your classes. How are your braces Xander?  Are you adjusting to them well? I know tightening can hurt and since you play the trombone I am sure that can hurt a lot. I know you are tough and can handle it. I found a movie of you that I took while we were all at Morgan’s Wonderland. It made me laugh seeing you have so much fun. I thought I would share it on here. Your dad and I love you a lot and miss you both.  Have a wonderful God blessed today.

Hugs and Kisses,




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