Yellow Blanket Scared Me.

Good Morning,

Hasn’t this weather been amazing!!! Dad and I are just loving it. Today is Wednesday so we are again at the middle of the week. Tonight is evening prayer and choir.  Did I tell the two of you I got a My Little Pony metal lunch box?  On one side is Rainbow Dash and the other has Rainbow Dash, Pinky Pie, and Twilight Sparkle. It is an awesome lunch box.  I know the both of you would love to have seen it.  The custodial staff at my office were great and told me how much they loved my Rainbow Dash mug.  I just wanted to let you know that Dad and I miss you both. The house is awfully quite when the two of you are not here.

As I am sitting here writing this I am really at a loss to what to talk about. Nothing really seems to matter and even if you were reading this I feel like my family has been shredded apart.  I have to hold out some hope that the two of you miss us. Even at the darkest point being alone in the world God is always there and provides some flicker of life. You must remember that you are never truly alone in this world and even when it feels like it God is there to support you and light a path upon your way.

I do not watch the news much it is really depressing to see a world go completely upside down not following the Bible or the Christian traditions started thousands of years ago. People like your Dad and I are becoming fewer and fewer in this world which for me is hard to deal with. I do not live in the past but I miss the ways of the past. It hurt me to find out that Barnum and Bailey was finally doing their last show. Your dad comforts me when I think about the traditions I was raised with being from a united parental household. Very few of my friends had parents who were divorced.  And even still because of this we cannot really understand what the two of you must be going through.  I think that is why your dad and I tried so hard to keep things as normal as we could.

We had normal dinner hours, had family time, did activities and we talked a lot. I have to say, the day you told me that you tried to take your own life at the other house by strangling yourself with your yellow blanket, scared me. I could not understand why you would want to take your own life out of frustration, anger, and pain. I know the separation of your parents was really hard on both of you.  I replay that conversation in my head every day. And as you get older I worry more because I do not know if you are getting the help you need to work out your thoughts and feelings. I can only pray and have faith that God will protect you and give you peace.

As I close this letter I want the two of you something to always remember. While your parents might be divorced the four of you will always be a family. God blessed your Mom and Dad with the two of you. At that moment the four of you were a family unite.  Nothing can ever take that away.  No step parent or step siblings. You will always be a family.  While the four of you may live different lives and you may never see one parent it still does not take away the fact the four of you will always be related by blood. Both of your patents love you dearly and want what is best for you because you are all a family.

I love and miss you both.

Hugs and Kisses,

M

beach

 

 

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