To Xander and Tori,
So it continues to rain. At least it is getting cooler outside. Yesterday your dad and I went out to have Chinese food. I had the pleasure of trying to teach your dad how to use chopsticks. However although we were unsuccessful he was able to make an attempt which is a good thing. I was proud he tried. Next time though I am going to use a rubber band to help him use them. Your father was so great. I woke him up yesterday. He gave me a hug at 4:00 AM because I began thinking about the two of you. I get distraught not being able to help you when you need help or being able to listen to you talk about your day. I then made the realization that by the time the both of you are eighteen years old you will never get to see Athena again. Also by that point Maxwell will be a lot older. I then think how unfair all of this is to you. That you never got to say goodbye. The fact is I never got to say goodbye to you. The last time I got to hug you Tori I was running back into the church while you were going to Sunday school. I was wearing my blue dress with vertical stripes. If I had known that was the last time I would get to hug you I would have spent more time doing it. So if you learn anything from this letter my hope is that you remember to treat each moment as your last because God can take away just as quick as he can provide.
I read a book about God and love. It was important because we are all God’s children and while we love others they are not ours. Therefore, God will always take back what he loves. We know not the day or time but he will always take the ones we love away from us. In some way it is how we learn to love an appreciate love because we in the end know that it can be gone at any moment. I make sure to hug your Dad every time he leaves for work. I do not tell him but I always think this is from me and the kids. I know you would want to hug him if you could. With the loss of the two I am still trying to get back into a routine of some type. I am sure the routine for both of you is now a lot easier not having to remember which parent is picking you up or if you have to go to afterschool care or home now. I know that is particularly important to you Xander. You through on routine much like your Dad. You do not handle change well and neither does he.
Xander have you had any chances to read any comics? Your dad and I got our tickets to see Starwars in December. We are both looking forward to that. We are both however kind of disappointed with Discovery. Coming from watching the previous Startrecks it is a little off in how its setup. Tori I imagine you can read now. What books do you like to read? Are you reading comics with Xander? I have started reading Groot. I finally got to see Guardians of the Galaxy II. It was hilarious. It was great. I loved it. I even got the original Groot comic book to read. Now I am reading the comics of baby Groot. I guess my question is that since baby Groot comes from Groot does he share the same knowledge as Groot or he is own independent Groot?
I realize I will never receive answers to the questions but I have to believe at some point you will see them. God works in mysterious ways. I have to keep my faith in him that he will continue to protect the both of you and lead you down the path to serve his divine plan. I will let the both of you go now. I promise to post tomorrow. Tomorrow will be the first time I will have to get through a birthday without either one of you here since we had to let you go. I love you both.