So, In Rage, You Took A Swing.

To Xander,

I wanted to let you know I forgive you. You were rebelling every chance you got.  I never forget you trying to take a swing at me when I told you that you had to spend the weekend at your mothers. You were upset.  You did not want to go. So, in rage, you took a swing. I dipped back and you lost your balance long enough that I could hold you down onto the back of couch until your dad came into the room. I do not think you remember what I told you after you started calming down.  We sat in your dad’s kitchen and I asked why.  You told me she did not like you. That your mother and you had nothing in common.  I stopped and realized you felt lost with the radical changes going on in your family.  I told you that it was important to try to find something in common that the two of you could do together.  You could do cooking together or something artistic together.  It was through trying to connect you would be able to find a joy in seeing her.

My hope is that you finally found that connection with your mom.  I held you to an expectation.  As smart as you are, if you are not held to an expectation then you become lazy and lack the discipline to get through the tough times. Intelligence can lead to scholastic smugness which is unattractive and can lead to loss of job, failure at relationships, and the inability to develop friendships.  It took me until I was in my senior year of high school to learn this lesson. I did not want you having issues with developing a support structure in school and in your life. Support structures help you in times of trouble or when you just need support.  You do not always have to carry the burden of everything on your own shoulders. The Bible instructs us to bear each other’s burdens to fulfill the law of Christ in Galatians 6:2. Yet when we isolate ourselves or are shunned due to arrogance or the inability to empathize or share we lose our ability to lift other burdens. My prayer for you is that you are able to finally talk and connect with others so you can share in the joy of having stability and a support structure in your future.

Your father and I miss you and your sister terribly.  We are ok and pray for the both of you every day. We know 8th grade can be hard but we have faith you will find your path and direction.  I always am cooking alone now which is hard.  I miss having you there to help. I have improved how my food looks.  It is a lot more colorful now and your dad says it tastes amazing. I wish I could have had the time to share with you some of my favorite cooking recipes.  For your birthday, this year your dad and I are planning on making monkey bread since it was your favorite. Remember that every day is a new beginning and you should always look forward and not continually look back.  I pray you have a wonderful and beautiful day.

Hugs,

M

 

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