From A Pandemic City

Alexander Gabriel  and Victoria Charlotte,

Good Morning,

Hope this letter finds you well. Ben is finally coming to grips that he is probably never going to see or hear from the two of you. He figures that both of you have written him out of your lives. I have to admit there are times I agree with him. However, I hold out hope that when you are 18 you might reach out to us. I think the sad part is that when Ben and I chose to do what we did it did not include the prohibition of any communication.  We have attempted to reach out to you via email and in other ways but we receive no response. Therefore Ben’s assumption is that you do not want to be part of our lives.  It did not even prevent you from seeing us. The only thing it did was give Katie full parental decision making. Therefore the decision has always been in hers and your hands.  We do realize that Caesar adopted you. We realize he is now the one you call dad. We also believe from everything that has been told to us you live Bad Schwalbach Germany.

Sandra has made it very clear that you do not want us to be in your lives any longer Alexander. We have been told you thought Ben was stalking you. Considering he has not seen you since your middle school band performance the day before Katie went to court to remove Ben from being the father responsible for you, he at that time still had a right to say goodbye to you. I guess the thing is Katie was more concerned about getting the physical items to you than actually giving you the chance to still have a relationship with Ben. Ben never wanted you out of his life. Katie and yourselves have chosen that.

Let me introduce you to Ben. Ben has a tough exterior. He does not get along with society in general. He is a veteran and a former deputy.  He loves to read and work with hands. He loves playing First Person Shooter video games and also ships battle games that require long-term and strategic thinking. He keeps and hangs up your pictures in the house because he does not want to forget the best two days of his life. He believes you two are the best thing he has ever done. He would do anything to ensure your safety and well being. That is why he made the decision he did, to sign his parental rights away because he knew it was hurting both of you. He loves both of our dogs. He really loves Lola and when Athena passed it tore him up. He was really upset by that. I always know when he is thinking about the two of you because he becomes really quite and then comes and gives me a hug. He loves to laugh. We joke and play all the time. All Ben has ever wanted is someone to love him and be his family.

Between Sandra, Katie, and now the two of you, he is desperately trying to find someone to love him for who is. He has given so much for his country and for his family to be left with nothing is scary. I will never leave him. So while Sandra and Katie may hate me and the two of you blame me for something.  I am not going to leave Ben alone I will stand with him. We welcome you back to come and see us whenever you choose to get to know us.  If you got to know us you might find us to be really fun and exciting. We know at one point in your lives you actually did like talking and hanging out with us.

We will always love you.

M

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